CheeseReviews.org

Q: Stinky runny cheese is GROSS. Right?
A: This answer will be a bit long. Stay with me.

It might be more accurate to say gross cheese is gross. The problem is that everyone has a different idea about what's gross. And much of this is cultural (more on that in a bit). But yes, of course - Gross cheese is gross and you shouldn't eat it. I'm not going to ever suggest you eat cheese that you know is gross. But hopefully I can show you how small the "gross" category really is, and help you try some fancy cheeses you'll really like. I think you'll find that many of the cheeses you *think* are gross really aren't.

But let's start from square one.

Let's say you go to the store and see lots of cheese. You spot one that is moldy and runny. Is it stinky? Is it gross? You have no way to tell because it's all wrapped up. But there is a pretty good chance it's going to be stinky. And unless you already think you enjoy such things, you probably won't like it. But if you just avoid anything runny or moldy you'll be missing some really good cheese that I think you'll like. That's a contradiction. So...... What to do?

The best thing to do is just ask the cheese guy. Point to the runny cheese and ask, "I want to try some of this runny cheese, but I really hate the stinky stuff. Can you suggest something similar I'll like? Creamy, buttery, sweet, but not stinky?" Easy as that. The cheese guy answers that question all the time, and there's nothing wrong with not liking stinky cheese. And there are many runny cheeses that are not stinky at all while being creamy, buttery, and sweet.

Bottomline - Yes, some cheese is gross, Don't eat gross cheese.

Now, for the other part of the answer - Why is the store selling stinky cheese? Do people really like this stuff? Is it a dare? What the hell?

Here's the deal. Yes, many people enjoy what most folks consider foul smelling cheese. Much of this is cultural. In America we grow up surrounded by the message that clean is good, and anything with a natural odor is bad. We're trained to like artificial and consistent flavors. We are conditioned to think "lemony fresh" is good, and pungent natural odors are bad.

So (in the US at least) from infancy we are kept well away from many flavors that have been a central part of human civilization for thousands of years. Sheep, raw milk, mold, and farms in general all have odors that are similar to stinky cheese. To a sheep farmer these smells aren't stinky at all. But we've grown up never smelling them. Same thing with other strong cultural flavors. Take fish sauce for example. It's the #1 condiment for a substantial chunk of the planet. But since it's the juice from fermented fish, most Americans won't like it.

So since we come to "stinky" cheese having spent our lives avoiding everything that might smell like an unwashed goat or rotten fish, it's no surprise we don't like cheese that is a bit "goaty".

And fair enough. I'm not going to ask you to like it. There are plenty of great cheeses that don't smell like a farm goat. And of course this is just part of the equation. Everyone has different tastes. And to be 100% honest, sometimes it is just the thrill of eating something others find vile. And I suspect genetics can come into play as well. Some people's tongues and noses may just we wired differently.

Just keep in mind that with the strong odor you also get many complex and primal flavors. As with fiery hot stuff you can get some sublime and delicious flavors from extreme food.

You might want to try not worrying so much about the runny thing. Runny does not equal stinky. Many times runny means sweet and buttery. But baby steps. I'll get you there the safe way.

Q: It's suppose to be moldy? Do I eat that?
A: Yes. Unless something has gone very wrong, it's suppose to be moldy. Since the fancy cheeses that aren't suppose to have mold will have been aged in such a way that mold is prevented naturally, if you see mold, it's suppose to be there.

Do you eat it? Completely up to you. No shame in cutting it off. I usually eat it. And I like it. Most of it is either very mild or tasteless, and it will be a variety that is 100% safe to eat (cheese makers are very careful about what molds are allowed).

Here's the deal with mold - Over the thousands of years people have been making cheese they've found that certain molds will ripen a cheese in wonderful ways. Mold can change the texture from chalky to creamy. Mold can add wonderful flavors, just like yeast does to beer and bread.

In the US at least, most of the moldy cheese you're likely to find will be like Brie - A think carpet of white mold will completely encase the wheel of cheese. The reason for that is ripening. The mold acts on the young cheese from the outside in, adding flavor and changing the texture.

Bottomline - The mold rarely has much taste, is always safe to eat, and is there for a very good reason. I suggest you try at least a nibble, but you don't have to.

Q: I see 400 cheeses at the store. Help me break this down.?
A: A consistent categorization system for cheese is hard to find. Different authorities group cheese in very different ways. So here's my category advice for you -

Fresh cheese - This is typically like feta, goat cheese, etc. It will usually be tangy with a milky flavor. Usually mild. They will tend to be pure white. But that's a wild generalization. Fresh goat cheeses alone can have huge variation. As a new cheese adventurer you can feel safe trying almost any of them. Even the wild ones, say...... Humboldt Fog.... are very safe if you feel like giving them a chance. Great for spreading on crackers. Interesting examples you'll like - Cabécou, Humboldt Fog, and various things with Chèvre in the name.

Mountain cheeses - Think Swiss cheese. Like Emmental. But similar cheeses are found in France, Spain, Italy, etc. These tend to be mild with a fruity, nutty flavor. They are quite safe for those new to the cheese scene. However - Please don't eat them cold!!!!!!! These cheeses have their flavor hidden when you try them out of the fridge. Carve off what you want to eat and let that sit out on the counter for 30 minutes or so. Interesting examples you'll like - Zamorano, Abbaye de Belloc, Fontina Val d'Aosta. These will look just like "Swiss" cheese, but may or may not have holes.

Washed rind and monastery - These are the stinky foot cheeses. Unless you think you'll like such things, just stay away from them. New cheese adventurers might fine the smell and taste to be downright rancid. They are typically washed with wine, beer, or cider to promote bacteria that will flavor the cheese. Époisses is so smelly it was once illegal to carry it on the French subway. Unfortunately there is no easy way to pick these out of the pile of cheeses at the cheese counter, so that's another good reason to just ask. If you see a slightly runny cheese with a thick rind, but no mold, that might be a washed rind cheese. Lots of people love these, but if you grew up in America, you probably won't. Save them for the advanced class. Interesting examples you'll like - Appenzeller

Blue cheese - You either like blue cheese or you don't. And if you don't like rather tame Danish style blue cheese that most Americans have been exposed to, you won't like the more fancy versions either. But, if you do like blue cheese, the world of upscale blues is going to be a real happy place for you. And these cheeses have some fantastic variety. Stilton is robust. Roquefort is refined. Cabrales is wild. If you like blue cheese you'll have a hard time finding a fancy one you don't like.

Mold ripened cheese - Brie is the familiar example, but Camembert and others are easy to find. They can be tricky. These cheeses are intended to ripen like fruit. So a young sample might be sweet and mild while a ripened sample might be stinky. So even if you find one you like, you still need to identify what ripeness you like. And many Bries are stabilized or processed to be more mild. This is a very inconvenient. We expect our cheeses to be predictable, and Brie just isn't. My advice is to wait until you're feeling adventurous and then asking your cheese guy (or gal - my favorite cheese guys are actually gals) for something in your comfort zone.

Hard cheeses - Parmigiano Reggiano is a good example. These can be very salty and tangy. Yummy for nibbling or grating on pasta. If you're trying to expand your cheese horizons, it's hard to go wrong with any of these. However - There is category of extra aged cheeses that can be mistaken for Parmigiano. The extra aged cheeses (like aged Gouda) tend to be sweet and caramelly. And these you'll like. If you haven't tried aged Gouda I strongly encourage you to go get some.

Cheddars - These have a wide variety. You've probably already tried the American style, so you might want to track down some of the English versions. These are the original, and will open your eyes to how good cheddar can be. Try some Lincolnshire Poacher. Wow. But I'll be a bit blasphemous and also include in this category cheeses like Caerphilly, Wensleydale, and Double Gloucester, all of which you'll like. Sometimes you'll find cheddars with mold veins running through them. This changes the taste quite a bit, and I suggest waiting a bit to try those.

Q: Do I have to eat the rind??
A: No. You can eat it or not. And if you decide you'd rather pass, there's nothing wrong with that.

The cheese rind is there to protect and flavor the cheese. Sometimes it's meant to be eaten. Sometimes not. And unfortunately there is no hard and fast rule. Parmigiano Reggiano has a rind that looks pretty tame, but I would suggest not eating it. Brie is covered in a thick layer of mold, but it's absolutely suppose to be eaten. Stinking Bishop has a crusty foul smelling rind that I wouldn't eat if I was starving, but many people claim its the best part.

Here's the rule - You make up your own mind. All cheese lovers have at least a few rinds they'll pass on. So no shame in picking out the part you like. But try this - Many cheeses will change taste slightly as you get closer to the rind. Even if you aren't going to eat the rind, try eating some of the cheese up close to it.

Q: Does "good" mean imported??
A: (Assuming American here, but this is true anywhere) No. America makes some of the best cheeses in the world. The country is dotted with family farms which produce some incredible handmade cheeses. And as a bonus, the domestic cheeses will be fresher. And many fresh cheeses just won't make it across the pond, so if you only eat imports you miss out on that whole category.

And remember that America is a land of immigrants. These folks brought their cheese making traditions with them. So many of the great European cheeses are also made here using the same recipe.

Q: How is cheese made??
A: The short version - Milk is acidified and curdled so that a solid is formed, the solid (the curd) is drained, and then the curd is aged. Simple as that. You could make it in your kitchen.

But all cheeses are created using techniques that vary quite a bit from that basic recipe. The way the curds are handled and the aging process accounts for much of the variation you see in the cheese counter. Getting into the details will have to wait for a future article.

Q: How do you pick cheese?
A: That can be a very complicated question to answer. The more you know about cheese, the more tools you'll have for picking just what you want. But here are some pointers for the beginning cheese adventurer.

- Buy something that looks like you'll eat it. If the runny moldy cheese looks gross, don't buy it.
- Try to get fresh cheese. In many shops the cheese many hang around. Sometimes this isn't a problem, but go with your instincts.
- Ask. The cheese monger is there because cheese can be intimidating and confusing. Talk to him. If he asks, "Can I help you with anything?", and you say no, you're kidding yourself.
- When in doubt, buy things that look familiar. You'll see some English Cheddars. Those are good. You'll see some aged Goudas. Those are good. No need to get too crazy.

Q: What's the deal with Brie?
A: First of all, stop worrying about Brie. Most of the great cheeses in the world have nothing to do with Brie.

The deal with Brie is that a) it's aged from the outside in by the mold, which is cool, b) the ripening process let's you choose the flavor you prefer, c) it's a style where natural raw milk flavors are encouraged, and d) its been around for ages and ages which makes it both famous and apparently very well liked.

Parts A, B, and C is where most people who don't like Brie have a problem. They don't like mold, too much Brie gets sold "ripe" (which is where snooty cheese nerds prefer it), and raw milk flavors are something Americans have been trained to not like.

But if you can just believe me when I say the mold on Brie doesn't taste bad (if it tastes at all), and you find some Brie that is a bit less ripe (ask your cheese guy), and understand that people have been safely drinking raw milk for 100,000 years (and liking it), you're very likely to find some Brie you like. Note that the only part related to buying there is getting a young Brie. Young brie will be firm, mild, and sweet. It will taste a bit like butter. But not too young. Too young brie is chalky and bland.

But seriously. Stop worrying about Brie. The cheese world is big enough that you never have to eat it.

Beyond that, Brie is cheese with the training wheels taken off. Even if you like Brie you'll need to eat many different examples before you start to feel comfortable with it. Young Brie has little in common with ripe Brie. French export Brie is a weak substitute for local French Brie. This makes, "What is Brie?" an impossible question to answer. And it's very easily mishandled. Complicating things further, some people love their Brie so ripe it smells like a dirty diaper. Other cheeses are like this, but Brie seems to get the spotlight. Worse yet, you can find many brands in your local mega-mart which have little in /common with "real" Brie.

Q: Cheese shops are scary. Right?

A: Yes. They can be.

But here's the deal. What you're suppose to do is go in and let them find you something you'll like. Tell them you just started your cheese adventure and you're not sure what you like. They will either break out some samples (if you're in a proper cheese shop) or point out some things they're sure you'll like (if your in a fancy supermarket). They want you to walk out the door with several cheeses, and they want you to like them so much you'll come back. That's the whole point. So let them do the hard work. They're good at it.

It's best to take your time and be chatty in a cheese shop. You wouldn't chat with your butcher about a steak (questions sure, but not chatting, "Hey Bob, tell me about the cow this came from"), but you can chat with your cheese guy about cheese. Cheese has a story. It's made by interesting people in special places.

And if you just walk out with a small sample of Emmental, that's okay too. I always try to reward cheese mongers who give me lots of samples by buying lots of cheese, but that's certainly not a rule. If they can't find something you want to buy, so be it.

Q: I like plain ol' cheddar. What else will I like?
A: Plain old supermarket cheddar is made by melting together several cheeses along with emulsifiers, coloring, and stabilizing agents. So at it's heart, it's still real cheese. So....... we know you like cheese. And that means that there are many "fancy" cheeses from around the world that you should really like. Here are some I think you'll enjoy quite a bit - Appenzeller, Cotswold, Drunken Goat, Fontina Val d'Aosta, Midnight Moon, Lincolnshire Poacher, Purple Haze Chevre.

Those are all very different, and very yummy.

Q: Do I eat it plain? With something?
A: You be the judge. I like to try cheeses plain, but my wife really needs to have it on something. Both are perfectly acceptable. Crackers or some crusty bread is nice. Cheese on toast is a common snack. And pairing cheese with pears or apples is yummy. When in doubt, try a nibble plain, but have some crackers handy.

Q: How do I avoid strong cheese?
A: The best way is to ask. Cheese mongers get asked this all the time. Other than that you'd really need to start studying cheese and memorize stuff. That's no fun. But unfortunately strong cheese can come from several different styles.

Q: Can you cook with fancy cheese?
A: Sure. I like to top baked potatoes with Stilton. And I've made mac & cheese with all sorts of pricy English cheddars. A cheeseburger made with Italian Fontina is incredible. From there the sky is the limit. We have some recipes posted on the front page.

Q: Show me something really fancy I'll like.
A: Appenzeller, Cotswold, Drunken Goat, Fontina Val d'Aosta, Midnight Moon, Lincolnshire Poacher, Purple Haze Chevre. I have yet to find anyone who doesn't like those. Some you'll find a bit familiar. Others will rock your world.

Q: Can I buy good cheese online?

A: You bet. It won't be as good as what you'll get at a brick and mortar store, but sometimes online is the best option. ArtisanalCheese.com and igourmet.com are very good, but there are many you can find online. And many local cheese shops will deliver as well.